Haunting Ground

I love survival horror games, though I haven’t played as many of them as I would like. I tried to play Silent Hill on the Wii once, but I panic-waggled the remote so hard that I injured my shoulder. I did manage to complete Amnesia: The Dark Descent though, so I can be pretty hardcore when I try (just don’t tell anyone I only played it during the daytime and I screamed the whole time).

Yaaaaay I’m so hardcore!

With the popularity of  games like Amnesia and Slender, there’s been a resurgence in survival horror games that emphasise the survival aspect of survival horror. No more overpowered weapons.  No more copious supplies of ammo.  All you can do is run, hide and hope to god that you maintain your sanity long enough to find a way out.

I love these sorts of games. They really compliment my play style of freaking out and flailing madly while bumping into walls and crying like a little girl.

An old favourite of mine is a PS2 game called Haunting Ground (known as Demento in Japan).

In Haunting Ground, you play as Fiona, a young girl who awakes from a car crash to find herself held captive in a mysterious castle. The creepy inhabitants of the castle are out to get you (and your ovaries, or something like that) and you have no choice but to run and hide when you see them coming. The castle is littered with hiding spots, but the enemies aren’t always easily fooled. Hide in the same place one too many times and they will flush you out.  If Fiona panics the screen becomes blurred and her movements grow increasingly difficult to control, which usually results in death. Her death is never actually shown, but the sound effects that play over the game over screen suggest some truly horrific things are being done to her.

Your only protection against these creepy bastards is a dog named Hewie. Hewie will attack enemies, help you solve puzzles and warn you of imminent danger.  But you need to actively build your  relationship with Hewie. Pet him and praise him often and he will be more responsive to your commands. Kick him too many times and he won’t come to your rescue at all, potentially ending the game early. It’s kind of like Nintendogs meets Silent Hill.

I played this quite a few years ago so I’m not sure how well it holds up today, but if you can track down a copy it’s well worth a play. The atmosphere is suitably chilling, and the soundtrack is incredibly frightening. The companionship of Hewie never feels like an escort mission (if anything, Hewie is the one doing the escorting). If I could compare it to anything I’d say it’s almost a survival horror version of Ico. At the very least it will keep you satisfied until Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs comes out.

If, of course, you think you are going to be able to handle that one!

No

I am rather fond of saying no. I enjoy the sense of control that it brings me. Sometimes it feels like there is so little choice in how we live, and being able to say no when I want to is like a chance to catch my breath. In that fleeting moment of rebellion, I am in charge of my whole world.

Other people do not share my fondness for saying no. They see it as an insult. A failing. It becomes an invitation to convince you to change your mind, like a challenge or a game. People taunt you, look down on you, threaten you with guilt and regret.

We live in a society where “because I do not want to” is not considered a valid reason for making a choice. It’s no wonder that so many people fail to understand the issue of sexual consent when they don’t even know how to cope when you turn down a slice of cake.

You don’t have to justify yourself to anyone. For any reason. 

Beauty Tips with Anni

I haven’t done much writing lately because I have been super busy accumulating dry, dead skin cells all over my body. I realised this had become a real problem when I knelt on some dark carpet at work and left behind a leg-shaped patch of white dust.

But I found a solution: Mother fucking coconut oil!

832505-coconut-oil

You can buy coconut oil from… shops that sell coconut oil. I don’t fucking know all the stockists off the top of my head what do I look like some kind of grocery store inventory expert? I found it in the Asian Foods section of my local grocery store, so maybe look there or go to one of those hippy food stores.

So you take a dollop of coconut oil, I dunno maybe a tablespoon or so? Mix it with  a buttload of sugar. You could probably use salt too if  the cannibals you live with prefer savoury human flesh. I like to use sugar and add a bit of lemon juice too because I like to pretend I am a pancake.

Take your sugary coconut oil concoction into the shower and rub that shit all over your body. Once you feel adequately sandpapered, wash off all the sugar and the oil and the layers of shredded skin. Scream as your epidermis nerve endings are exposed to the cold night air.

You should probably clean your shower now that it is coated in oil and sugar, but I haven’t cleaned my shower in about six months and it hasn’t killed me yet, so whatever.

Now, throw your naked body down your hallway like a penguin belly-sliding on ice. If you slide all the way to the other end of the house, you’ve probably used too much coconut oil.  Rub the excess slime off with a towel before you sit your greasy arse down on the furniture.

Once you are properly dry and the remaining oil has been absorbed into your skin, you will feel as soft and smooth as a sexy earthworm.

Enjoy!

 

Edit: I should clarify that, as stupid as I’ve made it sound, this body scrub is actually awesome.

Polarizing Perspectives

Let me preface the following post with this: I will never criticize someone for not liking my book. People who have read it are entitled to any opinion they please. It’s totally okay if someone wants to tell me they didn’t like it. Of course, it’s also okay if someone wants to tell me they did like it. But anyway…

I don’t get many reviews for my novel, but this week I just so happened to receive two, and I couldn’t help but be amused at how perfectly they complimented each other. The first reviewer said they disliked the beginning of the book, but enjoyed the ending more. The second review liked the beginning, but disliked the ending.

It helped to remind me that everyone has different opinions, tastes, likes and dislikes. You will never please everyone, and if you try to you will end up pleasing no one.

I think it is important for writers to keep this in mind. A writer is going to face a lot of rejection and criticism throughout their career. You just have to keep it in perspective.

 

 

The girl in my head

There is a girl inside my head

buried in the deepest corners

her knees bend backwards

she walks on all fours

but I am not afraid of her

I coax her out of the darkness

her fingernails click click clicking on the floorboards

come closer

together we are unbreakable

if you will only trust me

if you will only let me in

 

(I  am very tired and I don’t know what this is but something really needed to be said on the subject of girls with backwards knees.)

(I promise one day it will make sense.)